you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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