I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
