I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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