So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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