my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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