hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
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I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize