508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
