We won't sleep together?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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