I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
