what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
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I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
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It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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