omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
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