Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
