im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
