he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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