Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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