last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
