your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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