Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
