Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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