No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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