Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
