so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
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how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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