I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
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I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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