I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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