I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize