Only a mothe r could love this liver
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
