just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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