I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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