Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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