You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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