1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
