no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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