You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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