Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
