I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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