guys are only as good as the porn they watch
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
