Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
