Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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