I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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