I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Im part way to drunk.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
