the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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