I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
She's not a foreskin expert like you
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
