Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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