Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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