He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
