People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
