i would punch a child for taco bell
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
