kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize