We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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