Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
