I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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