another moral hangover. fuck.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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