we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I think people are normalizing furries
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
