Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
