in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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