Your mouth is God's brothel.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
