that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
