Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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