so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Randomize
