Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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