You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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