Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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