What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
