i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.