She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
be right there i have to get my cape
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????