Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(571): View more from Virginia

i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.

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(949): View more from California

just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.

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(706): View more from Georgia

I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.

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(650): View more from California

I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(970): View more from Colorado

He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys

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(931): View more from Tennessee

On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!

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(515): View more from Iowa

IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.

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(425): View more from Washington

Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

So was this before or after he cried about trump?

(1-508): View more from Massachusetts

After

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