Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc

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  (201): whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc http://tfl.nu/bhl3
  Replies (31) Good night (1740) Bad night (717)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!

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  (248): I cant believe we actually had a nipple party! http://tfl.nu/pec6
  Replies (5) Good night (2108) Bad night (528)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.

  (1-514): View more from Quebec

  and?

  (514): View more from Quebec

  luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...

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  (514): so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother. (1-514): and? (514): luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne... http://tfl.nu/rdil
  Replies (48) Good night (4141) Bad night (899)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now

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  (816): I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now http://tfl.nu/vuci
  Replies (23) Good night (1459) Bad night (3081)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?

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  (305): If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet? http://tfl.nu/k73j
  Replies (22) Good night (1701) Bad night (4890)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...

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  (317): you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party... http://tfl.nu/sqle
  Replies (22) Good night (8290) Bad night (1604)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.

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  (610): Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour. http://tfl.nu/a91n
  Replies (6) Good night (1579) Bad night (1239)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.

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  (570): Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied. http://tfl.nu/2f2b
  Replies (12) Good night (2678) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher

  (312): View more from Illinois

  And maybe a life coach?

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  (303): So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher (312): And maybe a life coach? http://tfl.nu/dluc
  Replies (2) Good night (2188) Bad night (706)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  How's your threesome situation going?

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  Optimistic

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  (401): How's your threesome situation going? (1-401): Optimistic http://tfl.nu/dkbu
  Replies (3) Good night (1762) Bad night (495)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.

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  (843): Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now. http://tfl.nu/4hes
  Replies (3) Good night (401) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Use "feeling words"

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Yay

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  (317): Use "feeling words" (1-317): Yay http://tfl.nu/y3ss
  Replies (3) Good night (693) Bad night (365)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"

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  (604): Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money" http://tfl.nu/398x
  Replies (3) Good night (622) Bad night (274)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge

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  (907): Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge http://tfl.nu/scnb
  Replies (2) Good night (746) Bad night (356)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.

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  (630): Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into. http://tfl.nu/ua4k
  Replies (2) Good night (456) Bad night (282)

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