i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
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can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
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We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
She made me pour olive oil on her.