You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
then he tried to convert me to islam
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
