my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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