Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
