Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
