wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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