Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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