Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
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Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
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Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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