it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
